Hello everyone, it's Chattercap!

I'm honestly flabbergasted and incredibly touched that so many people have not only given the game a try, but also left such kind thoughts and comments! (The game has been out for just over a month and has received well over half the plays and ratings of my most popular game, which has been out for almost a YEAR at this point…)

I first came up with the idea for the game last year, when I was working my 2023 Otome Jam project, Karamu! I was chatting with my friend lenlen (who is a wonderful dev who makes games that are even more heartfelt than MMM, please give them a try!) when I came up with the idea of "what if anxiety...was a yandere?" (I mostly proposed this because len is not the biggest fan of yans, haha!) It was mainly a joke, but the more I thought about it the more I liked the concept.

At first when I thought about anxiety, I thought I would make him a very creepy, scary person. Maybe someone like Sadako from the Ring: someone who just tries to terrify you for no reason. But then I reconsidered the concept. After all, we don’t feel anxiety for no reason, do we? Anxiety isn’t just out to make our lives harder. In fact, it derives from gut instincts that are supposed to help our survival: fear about fitting in, fear about the future, etc. So I came up with Geist: a well-dressed, well-intentioned, over-protective man that ruins your life with his presence. He’s cruel, but he “means well”—after all, if he’s not a little mean, you won’t really understand, will you?

As a definitive answer for “what is Geist?” Geist is, of course, at least partially a metaphor for anxiety. However, he’s also meant to reflect an abusive relationship, one where the abuser isolates you and makes you dependent on them. He’s somewhat based on toxic friendships that I’ve had in the past with people who casually put me down and encouraged my isolating behavior (maybe because it made them feel better about themselves, or maybe because they wanted to make sure that I always had time for them, and no one else). 

However, if you do want a “not strictly metaphorical answer,” here’s the canon one: Geist was a child who attended your middle school many years ago. At the time, he was socially awkward and ostracized from his peers, and he died at an early age. Since then, he haunted the school, not quite able to overcome his regrets of never experiencing real friendship—and when he saw you, he recognized a kindred spirit. He grew attached to you and started haunting you, offering you “advice” based on his own experiences. He’s convinced that being alone is better for you (and he’s afraid that you’ll no longer need him).

As for Kalei, I really did want him to be the perfect guy to get the MC’s anxious butt out of their shell. He’s chill and outgoing; he never judges you or takes things too seriously. He’s rabidly nerdy about the exact same things that you’re nerdy about. But at the same time, he has anxieties of his own. He grew up on the islands, and college is the first time he’s ever spent a long time away from home. He quickly found a close friend group at university, but he doesn’t quite click with them, not completely. He worries about how he acts sometimes, and he doesn’t want to come across as overbearing. I think that when you’re anxious, it’s easy to focus on yourself: you’re the weirdest one in the room, everyone is looking at you because of how strange you are. But everyone gets nervous, even outgoing guys like Kalei. Everyone struggles sometimes. (You’re not alone, even if it feels like it, haha!) 

MindMindMind is a little different from what I usually put out, partially because it's so mired in my own experience. It’s obviously not a 1:1, and the protagonist differs from myself in some fairly significant ways, but a lot of the thoughts and insecurities presented are thoughts that I’ve had in the past. It was a little strange, delving into my “old self” like this. In some ways, it was like standing in the mind of a stranger, but in other ways, it felt like I hadn’t changed at all. Writing Kalei’s ending was quite cathartic—that’s what I wish would happen. I wish that anxiety was a guy, standing in front of me, so that I could tell him to leave me the hell alone. But it’s not, and the process of overcoming anxiety isn’t that clean. Some days are good, and some days are bad. Some days you can see how far you’ve come, and some days it feels like you’ve been standing in place for months. But…it gets better. And it’s going to be all right. 

I’ve got quite a few projects lined up this year! I’ll admit that my games are pretty varied in terms of genre and concept, but they’ve all got my “flair” to them, so I hope they’re enjoyable nonetheless! My next project is Actala: The Hero’s Shadow, a big fantasy/mystery romance game set in a magical world rife with political strife. After that, I’ve got 3-5 projects lined up for the rest of 2024 (fingers crossed that I can get most of them done). I have two yandere projects, Hanasu - the last part of the Karamu trilogy about a girl’s clingy ex-boyfriend, and an unnamed fantasy themed game featuring…a female LI this time! Get ready for some toxic yuri shenanigans! The project that is most similar(?) to MindMindMind is planned for winter! It’s a contemporary drama that also deals with issues of mental health (and particularly with suicidal ideation); it’ll center around themes of mortality. It’s a ways off so I’m not quite ready to formally announce it, but if you’re interested in seeing updates (about this or any of my other projects), I post most of my major announcements on Tumblr and Twitter. I also post frequently on my Patreon with sketches, writing snippets, sneak peeks, high resolution art, and weekly devlogs.

Thank you again to everyone who supported this project - the beta testers, the VAs who collaborated with me, my game dev friends, and, of course, the players. I hope to see you again for another project! 

Chattercap